When Is It Safe for Your Child to Stay Home Alone? Expert Tips and State Laws Explained
November 2024"When can my child stay home alone?" is a question you've probably asked at least once as a parent. Whether you want to grab a quick coffee or go to the grocery store without the kids in tow, it's important to know the law--and if your child is really ready for the responsibility that comes with being home by themselves.
According to the nonprofit Safe Kids Worldwide, most states don't have specific laws regarding when children are old enough to stay home alone or babysit.1 However, a few states--such as Illinois and Maryland--have set specific guidelines.23 If your state hasn't established regulations, experts suggest considering your child's development, maturity, and sense of responsibility. For most kids, this is around 11 or 12 years old--though every child is different.4
Is Your Child Ready to Stay Home Alone? American Academy of Pediatrics. 2023.
Here's what you need to know about when kids can stay home alone, including a state-by-state guide, factors to consider, and how to best prepare your child.
Factors To Consider Beyond Age
When deciding whether to leave your child home alone, consider many factors beyond just age. In addition to assessing your child's maturity and readiness, evaluate the safety of the neighborhood and the how long they will be gone.
"I like to think about readiness to stay home alone kind of like a developmental milestone," says Erik Shessler, MD, a pediatrician and associate medical director of general pediatrics at Dartmouth Health. "By that, I mean it's more an assessment of whether your child has the skills necessary to be able to stay home alone safely."
Moreover, consider how your child feels about this responsibility and whether or not they want to take it on. After all, some kids are more reluctant than others to be at home alone.
"Even very independent children, may not feel ready for complete independence," says Jacque Cutillo, PhD, a licensed mental health counselor and assistant clinical director at Youth Villages, Inc. "It would be important to have initial conversations with them about their feelings around staying home, as well as emergency preparedness conversations. Children should know their address, caregivers' phone numbers, and how to call for help in an emergency."
Parents should also be able to trust their child's decision-making skills and feel confident that the expectations and safety plans you set for them will be followed, she says. Once you decide that your child may be ready to stay home alone, Cutillo recommends starting small.
"Perhaps a child can stay inside independently without supervision while [you] work in the yard or [you're] across the street at the neighbors for a quick visit," she suggests. "Then, move up to...taking a walk around the neighborhood--something where [you] are close by and available if the need arises."
State-by-State Minimum Age Requirements
Each state has its own guidelines regarding child neglect and child safety. The table below lists the minimum age requirements by state for when children can stay home alone. While this table provides a helpful starting point, it's recommended to also contact your local child welfare agency, as specific city or county ordinances may apply.
Preparing Your Child to Stay Home Alone
To help prepare your child for staying home alone, it's important to start with a conversation, suggests Dr. Shessler. Are they comfortable with this and willing to be home alone? What's the timeframe you might be gone? What fun activities are and are not allowed? What is the emergency exit plan? Who are the points of contact and supports they can use if needed?
For important contacts and phone numbers, make an old-fashioned list, or add the information to your child's phone if they have one, he says. "Remembering numbers when stressed is hard. Create and review some home-alone house rules and involve your child in this activity. This exercise can help you assess if your child is ready. Plans they have a hand in making also are easier to remember and stick to."
Develop a list of dos and don'ts for being home alone. Common examples may include:
- Staying inside
- Keeping the doors locked
- Not answering the door
- Avoiding cooking or using the stove
- Waiting to take a bath or shower until someone else is home
- Keeping a charged phone with them
- Checking in with you at set times
- Following rules about allowed and prohibited activities
Prepare your child for time home alone by increasing your child's areas of responsibility and independence in daily activities, says Cutillo. "Children should be independent in getting themselves ready for the day, getting a drink or a snack, and in knowing what to do in an emergency."
With this in mind, familiarize your child with the support available to them and how to access it. Practice dialing 911 (without pressing send), and role-play what emergency personnel might ask to get the help they need, she suggests.
"Preparing children to stay home alone is an exercise in trust and problem solving," adds Cutillo. "By providing small opportunities for independence, caregivers and children can improve this relationship and test these skills."
Other Considerations
Before your child stays home alone, they should be in good physical and mental health, without any conditions that might impair their judgment or ability to care for themselves, says Kim Feeney, LISW, RPT-S, a licensed independent social worker and a registered play therapist supervisor with Butterfly Beginnings Counseling.
Feeney suggest holding off on allowing them to supervise younger siblings. "Supervising younger siblings adds significant responsibility and can be overwhelming. It's usually best to wait until the older child is quite mature and capable."
Children with anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or other conditions affecting judgment or self-regulation may also need closer supervision, she adds.
"Even if a child is technically old enough, if they express strong anxiety or fear about being alone, it's crucial to listen and respect their feelings," says Feeney. "Consider each child's unique personality, temperament, and past experiences [as well as their] ability to cope with unexpected situations or feelings of loneliness."
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